Message from the Universe: When Anger Shouldn’t be a Part of the Equation
“Anger is a fabulous reminder that there are still a few things being misunderstood.
In all cases,
The Universe”©Mike Dooley, http://tut.com
I guess the Universe is looking down on planet Earth and seeing all humans dealing with anger management issues. There are specialists working on a daily basis to treat their patients with these kind of problems. They even made a sit-com with Charlie Sheen about anger management therapy. WE all know that anger is based on emotions that get out of control, especially when that person may misunderstand the message that was delivered by the other party in question. WE all get angry at times, and it is perfectly normal. I must agree that ALL PARENTS out there share their feelings of anger when dealing with their kids. However, managing this anger is what can make a big difference in your life. Not letting your emotions take control of your behavior is what’s crucial, especially when dealing with moment of stress and anxiety. When it comes to personal relationships, especially with your significant other, you would want to keep piece at all cost. If one of you deals with anger, go out and seek counseling. Anger can be destructive, not just for your significant other, but also to yourself and everyone else dealing with you. You must NOT allow these feelings of anger dictate who you are and work harder in controlling this beast from within to get out in the open. There is ONLY one chance to make the right impression, so if someone rubs you the wrong way, in-deliberately, they probably have no clue of their actions, but would you want to show your bad side to them the first time around? You need to keep things under control and make sure to act professionally. Signs of anger can be intimidating to some as they will refrain from working with you at all cost. If you feel anger exiting your subconscious mind, excuse yourself immediately, go out for a breath of fresh air, calm your nerves down, breath heavily, in and out, keeping the oxygen in for at least 5 seconds, and release with a 4 seconds tempo. Once you have done that a few thousands times (depending on your level of anger), you can go back into the room and deal with the issues accordingly.
The feeling of anger comes when your conscious mind feels suffocated by external factors that are out of your control. As a defense mechanism, you feel like you need to create more space around you, to allow yourself to breath. Claustrophobic feelings can also trigger anger bouts when people feel like they can’ really breath and need space. It is a common behavioral approach when being in this state of panic. Anger is primarily based on misunderstanding the other person with the message they are trying to deliver to you. Now, is this misunderstanding based on the other person lacking capabilities of delivering the right message or you not understanding what they are talking about. It is always important to clearly repeat what they said, just to confirm what they are trying to convey. For example: “So, If I understand correctly what you said, you want me to do this or that or whatever”. The other person might have to clarify some points of your reiteration and explain themselves better. Whatever which way it works for you, some few words may need to be repeated so you can understand the scope of their request. As mentioned, responding aggressively without taking the time to really understand might be construed as you being a very mean and angry person, which NO one likes to deal with that on a daily basis. Keeping calm and collected is the KEY to every business transactions. If you feel cheated, talk calmly and be clear about your next step from this point forward. Keeping calm is what will concern them the most. So take control of the situation and learn to work on yourself. This is the best thing you can do from this point on.
Dr. Dan Amzallag, Phd, MBA, CLC
Author/Inspirational Speaker/Life Coach