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Fake it Till You Make it– The Real Housewives of Potomac Premiere Recap

rhopBecause so many inquired about my thoughts on the premiere of a Housewives franchise filmed here in Potomac, I decided to write a weekly recap. This first installment is mostly random thoughts and reaction. Comment and I will try and cover oddities I missed and burning questions next week.

  1. No one ever gave us a Potomac Etiquette Guide when we moved there, let alone a guide with a mirror built in like the gem that Gizelle received. Consequently, we were left to wander all over that little town completely clueless about how to act and how we looked. I guess it’s possible Miss Manners published a special Potomac edition. If so, we never benefited from it.
    2. Karen, please, please stop saying your husband is the “black Bill Gates.” If he was actually on par with Gates, we would know him. Black, white or yellow would not be the issue. I can walk around saying I am the white Aretha but that doesn’t mean I’m getting invited to the Kennedy Center Honors.
    3. If we devised a drinking game using the word “Potomac” we would be wasted after the intro. Watching inebriated must be the answer. It HAS to be better.
    4. Poor BRAVO, having to track down restaurants that have big, old circular booths so we can see everyone’s snarling faces over dinner. So time consuming. It must be a production nightmare every time someone has to pee and the women, slide, slide, slide and let her out and then slide, slide, slide to let her back in. Oh and quit complaining about not being in the middle of the booth. The middle seat in a booth is jail. The birthday girl should have an easy exit. Now that is a place of honor.
    5. No one has a driver. GASP! And unless my eyes deceived me, I think I saw a Yukon XL just like mine in one of the scenes. This is not allowed on any Housewife franchise. You must have a limo pick you up one by one with a camera in the backseat with the champagne. How else can we see your cleavage and micro skirt? And you can’t have an average car like a Yukon. Gretchen in Orange County got a pink Harley for her birthday. Do your homework ladies and roll the reruns.
    6. Juan Dixon. Oh my little Terp, where do I start? Initially, I was nervous that featuring your ex-wife, Robyn, on this show would ruin my image of you. But then you came onto the screen and it was magic. Why? Because you told those ladies they were crazy and you got the hell out of there. You wanted an escape hatch just like the rest of us out in TV land. That was the equivalent of sinking a three at the buzzer to win it to me. Faith restored.
    7. Having said that, Juan was the only one (or the “Juan and only” See what I did there?) who looked comfortable. All the other men looked scared; like maybe they had peed in their pants a little. You could literally see them repeating “forget the camera, forget the camera” over and over in their heads to no avail.
    8. I am anxiously awaiting the episode that shows the ladies circling the Safeway parking lot in the Village trying to find a space. Between Starbucks and Chipotle they don’t have a prayer. That is a real housewives’ of Potomac experience on the daily.
    9. They are adding a cast member next week. Maybe she had to finish the etiquette guide and missed the first taping. She also has an abnormally large forehead like Mrs. Almost Bill Gates.
    10. And my favorite scene? The piece de resistance? The housewife who came from Germantown and acted like she had to claw and scrape from the bottom all the way up the mountain to the apex, Potomac. Her trek is actually a 15-minute drive though lovely suburbia, maybe shorter if you hit the lights. Praise the Lord she persevered and survived that arduous journey. Clearly she pities the poor ones she left behind, stranded there in the mediocrity of upper middle class.

Will I watch again, you ask? Of course I will. But I’m only in it for the scenery and the opportunity to be snarky the next day.

Unfortunately, this Housewives franchise earns no Bravo from me. Until next week, keep it real people.

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Maureen Stiles

About Maureen Stiles

Maureen is the author of the blog Magnificence in the Mundane. You can read her monthly column at The Town Courier.


15 Responses to “Fake it Till You Make it– The Real Housewives of Potomac Premiere Recap”

  1. Avatar
    On January 19, 2016 at 12:44 pm responded with... #

    I’m still a huge fan of the housewives from Atlanta. Sorry Potomac! 🙂

    • Maureen Stiles
      On January 19, 2016 at 1:18 pm responded with... #

      That’s ok. there is enough drama to go around amiright? Check in here and see what you’re missing..

  2. Avatar
    On January 19, 2016 at 1:02 pm responded with... #

    Love comment #8! So true! And the one had IHOP branded food in her fridge/freezer That seems like something the truly wealth wouldn’t do! We think they were at SAX in DC for the birthday!

    • Maureen Stiles
      On January 19, 2016 at 1:22 pm responded with... #

      How did I miss the IHOP packaging??? See, I need you readers to set me straight. I could not place that restaurant but I only evacuate Gaithersburg for important things… like my kids sporting events. See you next week.

      • Avatar
        On January 20, 2016 at 4:54 pm responded with... #

        The restaurant with the burlesque was Sax. Katie Rost and her boyfriend had lunch at Mix in Potomac (formerly Bezu)

        • Maureen Stiles
          On January 20, 2016 at 5:10 pm responded with... #

          I saw that, it was the DC one that threw me. Altho they must have been there at 10am for lunch because it was empty.

  3. Avatar
    On January 19, 2016 at 4:18 pm responded with... #

    The kitchens!! You must discuss the ’80s kitchens that were showcased (?) in all the homes. The horror of those white appliances. Also, can we please all agree to refer to this as RHOPo?

    • Maureen Stiles
      On January 19, 2016 at 4:37 pm responded with... #

      I think you are my soul sister RHOPo it is!! The kitchens will be a major topic of the next installment! Thank you for reading. Well and watching. It’s a little painful.

      • Avatar
        On January 21, 2016 at 3:00 pm responded with... #

        I can’t wait for the kitchen discussion. Formica countertops. Gasp!

        • Avatar
          On January 26, 2016 at 8:45 pm responded with... #

          Omg, when I was house hunting, I wouldn’t even look at a house that had those tired apartment cabinets like Karen…wth she’s married to the black Bill Gates? Please, she would have a much nicer kitchen if she had real money.

  4. Avatar
    On January 19, 2016 at 7:27 pm responded with... #

    The only thing I can add is that anyone who is originally from this area, and anyone with Old Money would not be caught dead doing a Real Housewives show in this geographic area — DC, MD, VA is old school and generally does not play that….VERY painful…

    • Maureen Stiles
      On January 20, 2016 at 5:38 am responded with... #

      It was painful but I will keep watching as my journalistic duty. Well that and Sunday nights are slow.

  5. Avatar
    On January 19, 2016 at 7:46 pm responded with... #

    Most of Potomac rich have said goodbye to Potomac due to the hassle driving, no stores, and the wannabees. They have realized Bethesda, Chevy Chase even N.W is a much classier fit and are moving back in groves. I miss old Potomac, new Potomac is fake and generally part of Rockville lol……….. remember North Potomac wth !

    • Maureen Stiles
      On January 20, 2016 at 5:37 am responded with... #

      I miss it too. I live in Gaithersburg now and when they built my neighborhood there was a major move to change the zip to North Potomac like the houses across Rt. 28. They wanted Potomac in there somewhere. Ridiculous!

    • Avatar
      On January 20, 2016 at 4:56 pm responded with... #

      Yes, they are moving back inside the Beltway. And they are knocking down our normal, middle-class houses and putting up their gaudy, ostentatious, way-too-big-for-the-lot monstrosities.

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